Thursday, May 23, 2013

What's Wrong With Women?

I've been fortunate in my life to have been surrounded by some pretty brilliant and gifted women. My mom, sister, aunts and cousins all had a huge impact on me.

Being a younger brother and the youngest cousin on either side of the family, with no boys close to my age, did have its drawbacks (don’t ask me about the dresses, I still refuse to speak about the dresses) but I learned so much.

And, by God’s grace and Nancy’s patience, I have been married to an amazing woman for over 25 years. Through her servants heart, wit and grace she has been a gift to me; one that has taught me so much about Christ’s love in action.

But throughout my life there seems to be one thing that is a constant; a common thread that runs throughout the gender. Like the droning of a jet engine at the airport, it’s always there, in the background, whining at various levels of intensity.  It’s insecurity.

Our society has made women feel… inadequate, not good enough, lesser. I don’t think men understand this. Because we are wired so differently we don’t realize how the things we encounter every day shout at the ladies around us that they don’t measure up. Nothing demonstrates this more effectively than this Dove commercial and this parody it inspired.

Men have their own battles with the hypersexualization and objectification of women in our society. You can’t get away from it. Billboards, commercials, posters, news articles, sports pages, the entire stinking entertainment industry all beckon.

What they say to women is an entirely different thing. “You’re not pretty enough. Your nose is too big. Butt is too fat. Legs are shaped funny. You’re too short. Too tall. You’ll never be beautiful. You’re ugly. Unworthy. You should hate yourself. No one will ever really love you.”

I know very few women where this feeling is not in there somewhere, lurking below the surface, constantly questioning their value at various levels of intensity.

Men, we don’t tell our wives often enough how beautiful they are. I am ashamed of how infrequently Nancy hears it from me. It’s time for that to change. Tell them. Write songs and poems. The Song of Solomon is in there for a reason.  Use it if you need some pointers (warning NSFW).

Ladies, God is the one who formed you. Uniquely, intentionally and beautifully. Don’t let anyone make you feel less than you are… especially yourself. To do so denies the value of God’s creation. You are a wonder and it’s time to believe it.

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