Banishing But

My friend Lauri told me not to use “but” anymore. We say things like, “He’s a nice guy, but he drives me crazy” or “She’s pretty smart, but has no common sense.”

The “but” totally negates the beginning of the sentence. People don’t believe it anymore, it’s been qualified.

Instead I should use “and.” It is helps people understand both statements are equally true. It has revolutionized my thinking.

We seem to have a hard time with competing truths, like God is good and bad things happen. I think, sometimes, Christians put a positive spin on stories because we don’t want God to look bad. Guess what, he doesn't need our help.

Not looking at both sides is worse than naïve, it’s dishonest and the world notices. “And” allows us to live in the discomfort of both realities.

• God is everywhere and I feel alone.

• God is the healer and my friend is dying. 

• God is the comforter and I feel broken.

• God is love and I feel unlovable.

There are realities in life that we can’t ignore and they do not diminish the realities of who God is. We need to embrace the tension; embrace the “and.”

If you’re looking for a good example of competing realities, read Elizabeth Elliot’s 40^th edition of “Through Gates of Splendor.” The second epilog is darker, harder to read... and much more honest.