I had no idea what I was doing. I was 18. My girlfriend was
pregnant. And we were getting married. Of course we were, I was a good
Christian boy who had done the wrong thing and I was going to make it right.
And we loved each other. What could possibly go wrong?
As it turns out, lots. But lots went right as well.
My family loved me anyway. I’m sure my parents, were hurt, embarrassed and heartbroken by my decisions. But I never heard, “What were you thinking?” How could you do something so stupid? Do you know what people are going to say?”
In their disappointment, they chose grace. They chose to invest, to mentor… to babysit. At a time when they could have said, “You made your bed…” instead they pushed through the pain and loved.
My church loved me anyway. Much like my parents I know there was heartbreak. People had poured their lives into me. Throughout my childhood they loved, taught, encouraged, corrected, challenged and supported me. I’m sure their sense of “failure” was second only to Mom and Dad’s.
Still, we were never shunned, shamed, made to feel dirty, outcast or lesser. They loved my boy. They loved us. And they were committed to restoration, not condemnation.
Nancy loves me anyway. She learned pretty quickly, I can be selfish, inconsiderate, needy, demanding, self absorbed, manipulative, arrogant, condescending, intolerant, jealous, impatient, impulsive and whiney. Still she loves me.
She sees me, knows me and chooses me still. For some reason, each morning, she wakes up and says, “I’m going to love him today.”
Today marks 27 years since that 18 year old boy stood mesmerized by the beauty walking down the aisle toward him. I’m mesmerized still, by the grace of God and the kindness of his people, throughout my story. And that this beauty would still choose to walk toward me, is a daily source of wide-eyed wonder.
And we loved each other. What could possibly go wrong?
As it turns out, lots. But lots went right as well.
My family loved me anyway. I’m sure my parents, were hurt, embarrassed and heartbroken by my decisions. But I never heard, “What were you thinking?” How could you do something so stupid? Do you know what people are going to say?”
In their disappointment, they chose grace. They chose to invest, to mentor… to babysit. At a time when they could have said, “You made your bed…” instead they pushed through the pain and loved.
My church loved me anyway. Much like my parents I know there was heartbreak. People had poured their lives into me. Throughout my childhood they loved, taught, encouraged, corrected, challenged and supported me. I’m sure their sense of “failure” was second only to Mom and Dad’s.
Still, we were never shunned, shamed, made to feel dirty, outcast or lesser. They loved my boy. They loved us. And they were committed to restoration, not condemnation.
Nancy loves me anyway. She learned pretty quickly, I can be selfish, inconsiderate, needy, demanding, self absorbed, manipulative, arrogant, condescending, intolerant, jealous, impatient, impulsive and whiney. Still she loves me.
She sees me, knows me and chooses me still. For some reason, each morning, she wakes up and says, “I’m going to love him today.”
Today marks 27 years since that 18 year old boy stood mesmerized by the beauty walking down the aisle toward him. I’m mesmerized still, by the grace of God and the kindness of his people, throughout my story. And that this beauty would still choose to walk toward me, is a daily source of wide-eyed wonder.
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