Blastoff!

A few weeks ago I wrote about Andrew’s comments during “Blastoff,” his school’s version of 8^th grade graduation. In it, parents share with their children how awesome their kids are, in front of the rest of the class.

Four years later, it was time to survive it again; this time with Marcus. There was even a family of introverts who called out the event coordinators saying, “Here we are, three introverts, asked to share our intimate thoughts and feelings in front of a large group… thank you.”

When our turn came, I shared with Marcus the various qualities that made me proud of him. He was such a good kid I didn't even have to make anything up!

I vividly remember the next morning, as we stood in the middle of Avenida Americas waiting in the median for the light to change, Marcus looked at me and asked, “Dad, did you mean everything you said last night?” When I replied, “Of course, I did,” he launched himself into me, hugging me tightly, then bounced the rest of the way to school.

For a moment, I was overjoyed that what I shared had been such an encouragement. But then the impact of his question hit me. “Did you mean everything you said?”

It’s a tragic question. How can he not know how I feel about him? He doesn't know I’m proud of him, doesn't know what a great kid I think he is? He doesn't know.

As I write this, I still feel a bit sick. It seems that the people I love the most, I affirm the least. I am incredibly proud of my boys. I crave their friendships, value their and insight and enjoy their wit.  

But I seem to spend more of my time instructing, correcting and even coursing them, than listening, praising and encouraging. Why? If they don’t know anything else is true, they should know how deeply I love them.

The world is full of voices trying to define who you are. They label you, condemn you and say you aren't good enough. Sometimes we even do it to ourselves. But in his divine, "Blastoff" God said, once and for all, who you are.

You are the ones he loves. He did it, so you never have to ask, "Did you mean what you said?"