I've been in a member care roll for our missionary staff for about five years now. It's been a gift to walk with our people through celebration and pain. I expected that. We'd been in "the business" long enough to know missionaries are people. And people have issues.
But something happened I didn't expect. I got calls from retirees. Some needed help. Some needed to talk. Some needed to inform us of the death of a spouse. All of them, still felt connected to the organization.
It seemed strange to me. Folks who retire from the government, GM or Walmart don't do that stuff, do they? If someone retires from Boeing at 65, would she still call the front office 20 years later and expect the folks there to know who she is?
There are a number of reasons for this, but I think the key issue is an inability to truly reengage with their home culture. Lots of folks transition when they retire. They pack up and head to Florida or Arizona. So why can't missionaries make the leap?
Well, because 30 years outside your home country makes you... um... weird. After 30 years, the country has moved on, the culture has moved on, friends have moved on and they just can't connect. They feel like I did in my father in law's barn.
They don't have a job where they can engage. They're pushing 70 so they don't have the energy they used to. They try to engage at church but, to them, many folks seem shallow. And the folks at the church don't know what they're capable of.
Like the hobbits return to the Shire after an unexplainable adventure, some are like Sam, who can can reengage and can move on. Others, like Frodo, have gone too far.
This is the price you'll probably never hear about from your missionary friends. Missing home, missing family, missing friends, raising your kids in a strange place are all things you'll probably hear and understand.
But home isn't home anymore. It never will be, especially for those who have spent the better part of their lives outside in overseas ministry. Like Frodo, they have to wait for the final trip home, our true home where we will all feel like we belong.
Found the same after being gone in pastoral ministry for only 10 years. At least for some of us, people move on & you can't go home again.
ReplyDeleteAgreed insightful wonderings..... I am wondering too, if maybe their connection with the 'organization' became much more than bargained for..... they became 'family' over the decades of ministry together and in so doing.... family lets family know important things in our lives- our whole lives. Maybe this re-connection after so many years is a testimony of God's amazing power of love..... for each other that have no 'blood' relations and an organization that practices that love for His glory towards each other? maybe... wouldn't that be cool?
ReplyDeleteGreat thoughts Alisa. Thank you!
DeleteJeff, I see a lot of parallels to the military life as well. Now that I'm trying to assimilate into civilian culture, there's a lot to learn and adapt to. I definitely feel like a fish out of water.
ReplyDeleteYep. That's absolutely true.
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