I’m from the suburbs of D.C. I married a little girl from rural
Indiana. There were 600 kids in my graduating class. She had 84.
Of course this doesn't seem like a big deal to an 18 year old who knows everything… then I stepped into her father’s barn.
Nancy’s dad is a great guy, with a kind heart who can fix most anything. He’d have his neighbor’s tractor up on jacks with the axle pulled off welding something together. The neighbor would stand there chatting, an old friend would stop by and everyone would tell stories, poke fun at each other and laugh.
I stood quietly and tried to laugh at appropriate times.
I never felt belittled or shunned, but I always felt outside. They were never anything but welcoming, but I always left feeling… well… stupid. I had nothing to contribute to the conversation, and couldn't relate to most of what was going on. I could enjoy my time with them and still leave feeling inept.
That’s what it’s like for a missionary or MK returning from the field.
They have spent years, even decades of their lives outside their home culture. When they return, they look and sound like they should belong, they just don’t. You may treat them kindly, but their frame of reference has been so skewed they still feel, “outside.”
You have a story about last year’s Super Bowl; they have a story about the World Cup. You talk about the last elections; they relate it to their last coup. You share how you gave some money to the homeless guy; they see the faces of the kids living in the city dump.
Trying to marry the years of dissimilar experiences and find some point of commonality can leave you feeling… well… stupid.
Connecting with missionaries can be awkward because they all seem a bit, weird. And we are. Don’t let that discourage you. Engage. Ask genuine questions. Listen. Listen. Listen. You may learn some things, and they will leave, feeling like they belong.
Of course this doesn't seem like a big deal to an 18 year old who knows everything… then I stepped into her father’s barn.
Nancy’s dad is a great guy, with a kind heart who can fix most anything. He’d have his neighbor’s tractor up on jacks with the axle pulled off welding something together. The neighbor would stand there chatting, an old friend would stop by and everyone would tell stories, poke fun at each other and laugh.
I stood quietly and tried to laugh at appropriate times.
I never felt belittled or shunned, but I always felt outside. They were never anything but welcoming, but I always left feeling… well… stupid. I had nothing to contribute to the conversation, and couldn't relate to most of what was going on. I could enjoy my time with them and still leave feeling inept.
That’s what it’s like for a missionary or MK returning from the field.
They have spent years, even decades of their lives outside their home culture. When they return, they look and sound like they should belong, they just don’t. You may treat them kindly, but their frame of reference has been so skewed they still feel, “outside.”
You have a story about last year’s Super Bowl; they have a story about the World Cup. You talk about the last elections; they relate it to their last coup. You share how you gave some money to the homeless guy; they see the faces of the kids living in the city dump.
Trying to marry the years of dissimilar experiences and find some point of commonality can leave you feeling… well… stupid.
Connecting with missionaries can be awkward because they all seem a bit, weird. And we are. Don’t let that discourage you. Engage. Ask genuine questions. Listen. Listen. Listen. You may learn some things, and they will leave, feeling like they belong.
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