I miss my mom today. I'm not sure where it came from. It was one of those, blindsided with grief when you least expect it moments.
There's a lot going on. I'm worried about covering bills and our income deficit to the mission. At the same time the excitement of a boy's graduation and fun of his wedding.
I didn't miss her those days. Sure, I was very aware she wasn't there, but I didn't miss her.
But this morning I woke up early and laid in bed wresting with life. Somewhere in the darkness "Honey Off a Thorn" whispered in my mind and I tried to remember what I had written.
I pushed it away, got out of bed and began my day. I tried to catch up on emails, set up appointments and chugged coffee. Then I remembered what had been whispered earlier.
I went back through previous posts, found the link, read to the bottom... and was suddenly undone.
The things I struggle with, the worries of life, the joy of the past few weeks and the lack of Mom's presence tumbled me, like a wave tossing driftwood.
1600 miles away she sits, Alzheimer's keeping her unaware.
I think we're hardwired to share struggle and accomplishment. It's why we complain about work and celebrate birthdays. The big ones are made to be shared with those closest to us.
I think that's why today, I miss my mom.
There's a lot going on. I'm worried about covering bills and our income deficit to the mission. At the same time the excitement of a boy's graduation and fun of his wedding.
I didn't miss her those days. Sure, I was very aware she wasn't there, but I didn't miss her.
But this morning I woke up early and laid in bed wresting with life. Somewhere in the darkness "Honey Off a Thorn" whispered in my mind and I tried to remember what I had written.
I pushed it away, got out of bed and began my day. I tried to catch up on emails, set up appointments and chugged coffee. Then I remembered what had been whispered earlier.
I went back through previous posts, found the link, read to the bottom... and was suddenly undone.
The things I struggle with, the worries of life, the joy of the past few weeks and the lack of Mom's presence tumbled me, like a wave tossing driftwood.
1600 miles away she sits, Alzheimer's keeping her unaware.
I think we're hardwired to share struggle and accomplishment. It's why we complain about work and celebrate birthdays. The big ones are made to be shared with those closest to us.
I think that's why today, I miss my mom.
hugs Jeff
ReplyDeleteLove Jessica