Jill

I love my sister. She’s beautiful, bright, bubbly, fun. One of my great joys in life is our friendship. She posted this picture on Facebook recently. I love it because in one snapshot you see the essence of our relationship.

Jill is the responsible one. She obeyed mom and dad (mostly), got good grades, worked through high school and college, made good decisions, did the right things.

I didn't. I was… well… the boy in the photo.

The problem with being responsible is you get stuck with all of the responsibilities. Let’s face it, if you want something done, you don’t ask the kid who can’t remember to wear his coat in the winter.

This has never been more evident than it is now as mom struggles with Alzheimer’s. Jill has been there. She has fed her, bathed her and changed her. Most importantly she’s fiercely advocated for her and her care.

She’s been present. I haven’t.

After Mom’s diagnosis 12 years ago, Jill gave me permission to stay away. Nancy and I could continue with our life in missions, guilt free. Jill has paid a price for that act of grace, one only folks who have been caregivers can understand.

If you're the out of town sibling like me, offer loads of encouragement and little advice. You have no idea the toll daily care takes on a family.

If you care for someone suffering with long-term illness, thank you. God sees you. Find a support group, because you are not suffering alone.