A Critical Heart

I have a tendency to be critical. It’s not an aspect of my character I’m proud of. I can be critical of the government, my leadership, my church, a store, people in general and shamefully family and friends. I can pretty much pick apart anyone.

Something isn't done the way I like, said the way I like, a decision I didn't like, a program I don’t like, a song I don’t like, a cashier I didn't like, driving I don’t like, a plan I don’t like, a pace I don’t like.

Nancy ends up being the one who feels the weight of my negativity, when we get back to the car, I sigh and say, “You know…”

The problem isn't the grumbling. Every now and then there’s going to be something that tweaks us and we need to let out steam. The problem is my focus.

If we have a wonderful time at church and there’s one song I don’t care for, why do I focus on that song? If my boss has a few minor quirks, why do I fixate on them on not the positives? If shopping is a zoo on Black Friday, why do I complain about the slow cashier instead of all the loot I've just purchased?

What we choose to focus on shapes our attitudes which impact our relationships. Finding the positive, in folks who drive us crazy, reframes how we see them. They are no longer problems, but people. 

They are people who may not agree with us or act the way we would want them to, but people who have value and should be respected.

Sadly, with the chaos of the Christmas season, it can be a really difficult time of the year not to be critical. The stark irony of that makes me want to change.