Nancy and I
have spent over 25 years together. God could not have blessed me with a better
friend, wife and partner in ministry. I tell you that because we had an
argument a while back which revealed some things about me that I need to deal
with.
Unfortunately, in the course of the argument, I communicated carelessly and said some things that wounded her. I brought up an emotional issue at a time when we were both physically and emotionally exhausted and I did it poorly.
The conversation was healthy because it exposed some things I need to work on, but I deeply regret the impact of those foolishly chosen words on my wife.
Unfortunately, in the course of the argument, I communicated carelessly and said some things that wounded her. I brought up an emotional issue at a time when we were both physically and emotionally exhausted and I did it poorly.
The conversation was healthy because it exposed some things I need to work on, but I deeply regret the impact of those foolishly chosen words on my wife.
Our marriage isn't in trouble. Nancy and I have been through some really deep water
together. We love each other and are committed to each other more than we ever
have been. Marriage has been the most wonderful gift God has given me and the
most challenging. Children would be a close second.
I can’t
imagine trying to do it with someone less loving or less determined to make it work
than Nancy has been with me. And it bewilders me that after 25 years I can
still chose the most inopportune moment, to talk about a difficult subject,
only to reveal that I am the one with the issue.
I’m sharing this story because missionaries show up in churches all dressed up, talking about awesome things that God is doing. It’s true and we should celebrate it.
What is also true is, missionaries (like all of us) are people who sometimes struggle in their marriages; many times feeling they have no one they can be transparent with.
It makes me sad that the divorce rate in the church is no better than the rest of society. Not because of the message it sends, but because there is help available. There are people who care and want to help, if we would only have the courage to admit we don't have it all together.
I’m sharing this story because missionaries show up in churches all dressed up, talking about awesome things that God is doing. It’s true and we should celebrate it.
What is also true is, missionaries (like all of us) are people who sometimes struggle in their marriages; many times feeling they have no one they can be transparent with.
It makes me sad that the divorce rate in the church is no better than the rest of society. Not because of the message it sends, but because there is help available. There are people who care and want to help, if we would only have the courage to admit we don't have it all together.
If you’re
struggling, tell someone. Yes,
marriage can be hard, but it can also be so wonderful. If you don’t know who to
talk to, write me and we’ll work it out together. Don’t give up, there is
healing available. It may be hard work, and may take significant life change, but the
blessing outweighs the brokenness. Trust me.
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