Love Songs

Nancy and I were listening to some Country Music the other day. I can't remember the song now but the guy kept saying over and over, "I'm going to show you how much I love you."

Now he didn't ever say explicitly what he was going to do, but the implication was clear, it was all about sex. I started thinking about that and about all of the other songs that have been written by men for women and I realized, that's what almost all of them say.

Listen guys, I'm sure you're good, really good, probably way above average, but if you REALLY want to show your wife you love her, here are some ideas.

Do the dishes. The laundry. Vacuum. Dust. Change a diaper. Cook dinner. Watch the kids. Take her on a date. Give her a massage (without expectation). Take the kids out of the house. Let her have girlfriends. Let her go out with them. Tell her she's brilliant. Tell her she's beautiful. Buy her flowers. Buy her chocolate! Pause the TV and truly listen. Listen some more. And some more. Turn the game off. Study her. Learn.

Do it again tomorrow.

Do you want to show your wife how much you love her? Then help.

Fifty years ago our wives stayed home. We don't live in that world anymore. Most of our wives work. Then they come home and we still expect them to handle everything. More than likely, your wife is exhausted, stressed, worried about 100 things you haven't even thought of. And the last thing she has energy for is you to "show your love." Because lets face it, that's really about what you want.

If you want to show her how much you love her, do what she wants. Help her.

Maybe, my list is way off. Maybe it doesn't apply to your relationship. You can dismiss me if you'd like... but only if you ask her, "What would it look like for you to feel loved?" It may cost you something. I think love always does.

Yet I Still Dare to Hope

The Sunday after Christmas, my friend Jeremy was on the schedule to preach at our church here in Quito. He drove back from vacation to give a message based on Lamentations. And I have to tell you I wasn't really impressed. First he left vacation. Second he's preaching on Lamentations. Third it's right after Christmas. 

I may have thought something like, "Way to go Jeremy, leave your family in the mountains so you can come back and suck the Christmas spirit right out of the rest of us. Awesome Dude." 

But I was wrong. He did a great job reminding us of the context of Lamentations 3:22-24. In the New Living Translation:

22 The faithful love of the Lord never ends!
    His mercies never cease.
23 Great is his faithfulness;
    his mercies begin afresh each morning.
24 I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance;
    therefore, I will hope in him!”

What his message did, is what all good messages do, it drove me back to scripture. Jeremy helped us understand the environment in which those verses were written, but I wanted a little more, so I went back and read what lead up to that statement. Here is a paraphrase of some of the statements the writer makes regarding God.

He led me into darkness. He turned his hand against me. He besieged me with anguish. He has blocked my way. I cannot escape. He has shut out my prayers. He has torn me to pieces. He shot arrows into my heart. He has filled me with bitterness. He has made me chew gravel. Peace has been stripped away.

And then, "I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss. Yet I still dare to hope as I remember this: The faithful love of the Lord never ends... "

There are two things that I just can't shake about those two verses. "I will never forget... Yet I still dare to hope."

This is not some Pollyanna, all things work together, platitude kind of faith. This is a faith that acknowledges pain. Maybe even a sense of feeling wronged by a God who's ignored him. This is a faith that remembers... yet still dares to hope.

To dare implies risk. Uncertainty. But he will hope anyway. Why? Because of what he also knows to be true. "The faithful love of the Lord never ends."

Somewhere in his dark, lonely, unanswered prayer and gravel chewing moments he knows he has but one hope. And so he clings to it. The faithful unending love he knows God has for him. The same love he has for you and me. No matter how much gravel we may feel like we've been chewing.

It's as bewildering as it is beautiful. Yet... lets dare to hope.