Nancy and I have had a couple of hard conversations this year. She didn't say it this way, but the bottom line is I haven't been caring for her.
I have a tendency to bounce through life oblivious to how my actions impact her and I can make impulsive decisions without her input. My insensitivity can leave her feeling ignored and unconsidered.
I would never intentionally do or say something to hurt her. Few of us in healthy relationships would. But the problem comes when I quit paying attention, when I don't consider how my actions, attitudes and offhanded comments might impact her.
The greatest threat to a healthy marriage isn't incivility, it's indifference. It's when we become so comfortable we get complacent.
We are constantly changing beings and as a result, there is always a need for study. I need to understand both who she is and who I am so we can better walk together.
The beauty of 27 years together is we could have these conversations in an environment of safety. There wasn't ever a worry anyone would run away. Even in the tension, we're going to wake up in the same bed in the morning.
As difficult as the conversations were, they were the easy part. The real challenge is still in front of me... change.
I have a tendency to bounce through life oblivious to how my actions impact her and I can make impulsive decisions without her input. My insensitivity can leave her feeling ignored and unconsidered.
I would never intentionally do or say something to hurt her. Few of us in healthy relationships would. But the problem comes when I quit paying attention, when I don't consider how my actions, attitudes and offhanded comments might impact her.
The greatest threat to a healthy marriage isn't incivility, it's indifference. It's when we become so comfortable we get complacent.
We are constantly changing beings and as a result, there is always a need for study. I need to understand both who she is and who I am so we can better walk together.
The beauty of 27 years together is we could have these conversations in an environment of safety. There wasn't ever a worry anyone would run away. Even in the tension, we're going to wake up in the same bed in the morning.
As difficult as the conversations were, they were the easy part. The real challenge is still in front of me... change.
No comments:
Post a Comment